Lime's Emotional Bullshit

Jul 01

I’m running away for a few days, and leaving a letter for my parents

To mom and dad:

 

I am leaving for a few days. Do not look for me. I need time away to think, and I believe you need time to think as well.

 

You are liars and thieves who cannot see that your own daughter is suffering right before you. You make empty promises, saying one thing and doing another. You take away the things Jason and I earned with our own money. You rob both of us of freedom within our own homes. And what? Because you are our parents and anything you say goes?

 

We are both adults now. We would like to be treated as such, and respected as individuals. We would like you to let us have our own choices, rather than you forcing ideals and plans upon us. We have a voice too, but you do not hear it. We are humans, not slaves.

 

Mom, you said you would be more caring. Today when you were trying to wake me up, I did not see any compassion. You did not gently try to wake me up as a mother should. You yelled at me and were forcing me to get up much like a slave owner. How do you think that makes me feel? That you lied about your promises that you made not even a week ago?

 

Dad, I looked up to you. You treated me like an adult and respected me. But that bond has broken. You took away the Xbox, which does not belong to me, but to Jason who has given me permission to use as long as nothing happens to it. What do you think he’ll say when he comes home to HIS property gone? I had a responsibility, and you robbed it from me.

 

Yes, I sleep late, but I still wake up in the morning for work. Can I not get freedom to sleep when I want? You trying to make me sleep early is again forcing me to do something unwillingly.

 

Religion is a choice. In recent years, I have not felt very religious. I do not wish to attend church. I have been reluctant to go, and you both know that. I only go to make you happy, but there are some days when I just do not want to go. Yet you do not respect that. You force me out of bed and yell at me to go.

 

What I do with my sex life is up to me. I am panromantic asexual. I do not wish to have sex at all, and I do not feel the drive to have sex. Why worry then, about me losing my virginity? I can love who I want, when I want. Love is love and it is up to the individual to find that right person. I can love a boy. I can love a girl. I can love trans* people and non-binaries too. Who I choose to love is not up to you two. Please stop asking me about finding a boyfriend and marrying, because that is rude and very ignorant of my identity.

 

Gender is not sex. They are not the same thing. I identify as bi-gender. Some days I feel like a girl, but other days I feel like a boy. I’ve always felt this way, since elementary school. I feel more comfortable around boys than girls, and I feel more like a boy than a girl a lot. Maybe I am boy born in the wrong body. I am unsure, but I would like you to respect that and help me figure out my identity.

 

I am scared to tell you any of this in person. You would not understand, you would not listen. Therefore, I am writing this letter and giving you a few days to think about everything before we can talk about these issues.

 

I love you, mom and dad. I really do. But it’s really hard to love you every day when I am being oppressed within my own home.

 

Please, think about it,

Susan

Apr 25

dennerbean:

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(Source: bananadeaded)

tw: suicide, self harm, ableism

dennerbean:

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(Source: bananadeaded)

dennerbean:

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(Source: bananadeaded)

tw: self harm

dennerbean:

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(Source: bananadeaded)

rambling: mom go away go the fuck to sleep

dennerbean:

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(Source: bananadeaded)

Mar 23

i have friends

but i feel so alone

the morre they help the more they make me feel more alone

i keep wanting help from others

but

i jyst feel so isolatde and empty that it doesnt help at all

you know when you get emotuional over listenin to certain songs becaus of the lyrics

this is the ppsosit eof what i wanted

i ate ‘you raise me up’ now becaise

i dont have snyone like that wirh me at the momebt

Mar 22

ive been told that might have clinical depression

i knew it i just didnt want to bleiev it

i want help

but im scared

what do i fucking do

i cant do this by myself

yeha i dont know why i keep psoitng in here

thers only 3 oeplewho follow it

its not helong me at all